Discussing marriage counselling with your partner can be a delicate and difficult conversation. Many couples hesitate to bring up the topic, fearing it will lead to arguments or feelings of blame. However, addressing relationship issues early through professional support, such as marriage counselling, can make a significant difference in preserving and strengthening your bond.
With that, learn practical steps on how to approach your partner about seeking help through counselling in Singapore.
Choose the Right Time and Setting
Timing is critical when bringing up marriage counselling. Avoid raising the topic during or after an argument, when emotions are high and tempers are likely to flare. Instead, choose a neutral and calm moment when both of you are relaxed and free from distractions. This time could be during a quiet weekend at home or after a shared activity. A private, calm environment allows for honest and focused conversation, giving your partner space to process the idea without feeling ambushed or pressured.
Frame the Conversation as a Joint Effort
It is essential to present marriage counselling as a mutual step towards improving your relationship, rather than a solution to your partner’s perceived flaws. Avoid statements like “You need therapy” or “You always cause problems.” Instead, focus on phrases that emphasise teamwork, such as “I think we could benefit from exploring counselling together” or “I’d like us to have the tools to navigate our challenges more effectively.” Positioning counselling as a shared effort reduces defensiveness and shows that you are equally committed to the process.
Acknowledge the Stigma and Normalise Seeking Help
There may be a cultural or societal stigma surrounding counselling. Acknowledging this upfront and framing counselling as a proactive and responsible step is then necessary. You could mention how counselling has evolved, with many couples seeking guidance not only during crises but as a preventive measure. Highlight examples of successful couples or public figures who advocate for therapy. You reduce any sense of shame or failure your partner may feel by normalising the process.
Address Practical Concerns Early
Your partner may have practical concerns about marriage counselling in Singapore, such as costs, time commitment, or privacy. Be prepared to address these points calmly. Research and share details about counselling services, such as session fees, locations, and available online options. Discuss how you can adjust your schedules to accommodate sessions. You demonstrate that you have thought through the logistics and are serious about the commitment by being proactive and informed.
Be Open to Your Partner’s Concerns
Your partner may respond with hesitation, fear, or even anger. Listen without interrupting or dismissing their feelings. Acknowledge their concerns by saying, “I understand why you feel that way,” and avoid trying to force agreement. If they express a fear of judgement or failure, reassure them that counselling is not about assigning blame but finding constructive ways to move forward. It may take several conversations for them to feel comfortable with the idea. Patience and empathy are key in these discussions.
Offer to Take the First Step Together
Suggest finding a counsellor together to make the process less intimidating. Offer to do the initial research, share options, and even make the first appointment. This gesture shows that you are willing to take the lead in making things easier while also respecting their input. Emphasise that the goal of marriage counselling is to create a safe space for both partners to express themselves, learn new skills, and build a stronger relationship foundation.
Conclusion
Talking with your partner about marriage therapy necessitates sensitivity, patience, and clear communication. Approaching the talk attentively, focusing on shared goals, and normalising counselling increases the likelihood of a favourable reaction. Remember, the goal is not to force an immediate agreement but to open the door to continued discussions about the health of your relationship. Seeking counselling in Singapore can be a powerful step towards developing a strong and meaningful relationship.
Contact EMCC and let us help you and your partner build a stronger, healthier future together.
